Eleutheromania

I need to get wild.
Truly.  Really.  Completely.  Wild.
I’m hungry for wild.

I am tired of playing safe and small.
I’m ready to live my freedom and squeeze liberty until it cries for mercy.
I want to do something completely unpredictable, to break loose from the static of the past and passionately launch myself into a wild new life.

I feel that truth welling inside me, bubbling up to the surface … and not a simmering or a gentle rolling, but a rapid boil. I’m ready to be poured into some new vessel, infused with some fresh new experience, and emerge an aggregate of those parts, into something tasty and juicy and so altogether different that who I was might seem flavorless in comparison.

I love who I have been.  I am grateful for who I have been.  I appreciate who I have been and who I am and who I am about to become.  I am still the same person, but I am also someone completely new; every cell turned over, regenerated, and advanced.  Like Theseus’ ship, my is-ness remains, and is now complimented by a part of me that didn’t have to experience the crazy shit of the last decade and is longing to live simply, wild and free.

I am not this hair.  I am not this skin.  I am the soul that lies within.

We bend God’s ear with our meager requests while He has already set aside more for us than our feeble minds can fathom.  We are capable of so much more than we realize.  If we can just remember to give up control and cease striving, send our hopes to the heavens, wait for direction, step forward, and repeat, then all will be well.

My longing for wildness is not a frantic pursuit.
It is rooted in peace, grounded in trust, anchored in hope.  It’s a calm Summer Day and “What do you intend to do with this one wild and precious life?” and an evolving Annie Allen and “Exhaust the little moment” yearning.

Whether the latest evolution of our year in the blue house is self-inspired or divinely inspired, remains to be revealed.  My prayer has become that the desires of my heart will be aligned with God’s will for my life. I have no interest in limiting myself by my human potential when the Creator of the Universe is asking me tenderly, emphatically urging me to call to Him, so He can tell me great and unsearchable things I do not know (Jeremiah 33:3).

I am here and I am happy to oblige.

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