Bittersweet

I took a moment to sit quietly on the step my step dad built. He etched my and my daughter’s names into the concrete there. This was such a beautiful orangey pink evening, warm and still and filled with spring green leaves and periwinkle blue hydrangeas.

Times like these make me feel like my heart is going to break and fall from my chest, except for the fact that Love saves me and creates in me such gratitude that it soothes the ache. My sweet daughter had gone to her sweet friend’s house right next door for a sleepover. They were so excited. Thank you, Father, for this lovely life you’ve helped us create and blessed us with here at the blue house.

We have only about a month left and it’s not getting any easier. I had been hoping for a miraculous stay … a Hail Mary … but it’s not coming, so I must choose to believe it is God’s will for us to go. I believe He has more in store for us than we can imagine. I refuse to revisit the past. I will go no further back than the present moment. I will look forward in hopeful anticipation of the next adventure and what awesome beauty exists beyond the blue house.

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