There are times that concerns chip away at the wellness of my soul, so about a week ago I started a new kind of journaling. I told myself that it would be a place for me to present ridiculously amazing requests to God. I wrote, “I am here, boldly approaching the throne and asking for more than I think I deserve … a counterintuitive process, since being in Your presence would be such a humbling experience that words would fail.” I said, “I will silence that voice, Father, that tells me to be considerate and not take more than my ‘fair share’ opting instead to ask big with not only Your permission, but Your encouragement.”
You have got to be kidding me.
I reread my journal entries for my so-called “ridiculously amazing” prayers and stunned myself. To test my reaction I explained the goal of the journal to my eight year old daughter and asked her to listen to one of my requests. Her very sweet and non-plussed response … “That’s not ridiculous.” So right! They were perfectly standard and quite reasonable prayers.
Is it a problem that I don’t even know how to request ridiculously amazing things?! My mind has a hard time pushing beyond the basics. I am still allowing myself to be satisfied with scraps when You, God, are inviting me to sit at the table and imploring me to feast on more than enough. I am cautioning You, You – God, to fill my cup just under the rim so nothing will be wasted on me, when You want to make my cup RUNNETH OVER. How do I not get that?
You call us Your children. We are the children of the Most High God, the King of ALL Kings, and You want to bless us. You tell us to just simply ask and it will be given. You already have a plan for providing for our needs – like the birds of the air that You feed or the flowers and grass of the field that you clothe. All we must do is seek You and those things will be found … seek and ye shall find. And for the rest? Ask, so that the rest can be given. In Psalm 2:7-9 You tell us, “You are my child and today is your birthday. What do you want? Name it.” Good grief, how disappointed You must be when we only ask for what You intend to give us anyway, since conversation represents “seeking” and brings with it the intrinsic and promised “giving.” You ask, “What else?” And we (or maybe just I) answer, “Oh nothing, I don’t want to be any trouble.” This is the freaking MOST HIGH GOD we are talking to and He calls Himself our Father. He breathed life into everything in the universe. He set the stars in the sky. He keeps the planets in their orbit and the earth tilting on its perfectly balanced axis. There is no possible way we can out-ask Him. We (again, maybe just I) limit His abundance with our feeble ability to fathom His most.
In Crazy Love, Francis Chan tells us that, “It is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending.” And Anais Nin asks, “How can I accept a limited, definable self, when I feel, in me, all possibilities?” Yes Anais … go on … preach it, girl! “If you limit your choices to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.” Compromise? Compromise?! Heck yes … that is what I am doing … are you?
I had to compromise for years – to stay safe, to keep my daughter safe, to keep the peace, to be permitted to scavenge for crumbs that weren’t even offered to me, but left behind only because they would keep me from shriveling up from the neglect. BUT, that is NOT my loving Father’s intention. No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor heart imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him (1 Corinthians 2:9). Yes, Father, give me the ability, under Grace, to stop limiting You and what You want to do in my life. I am open to receiving that which my heart cannot conceive nor my mind envision. I give You my cup and ask You to fill it up with goodness to beyond overflowing. Bless me, indeed, and all those who read this. Inspire us to give ourselves the Grace that will allow You to be limitless in our lives.